Navigating Liminality: The In-Between & Not-Yet
Benjamin Franklin famously wrote, “...in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” Though I can appreciate the sentiment, he forgot something – a reality that has been a certainty for every person that has ever lived the human experience… change. It’s constantly happening around us and happening through us. Sometimes we are the recipients. Sometimes we are the initiators.
Last month, I took a bold step, beginning a transition away from my role as an executive pastor of an amazing church and community where I have served for nearly 21 and a half years. I am stepping out to pursue “a new challenge, a new assignment”, one that is not clear yet (hello resumé making and LinkedIn!). This difficult decision was born out of a deep sense that God was/is saying, “I have something new that I want you to do.” As a strategic thinker/planner, and one who is generally risk-taking averse, especially when there isn’t a solid and confirmed next thing, this “leap of faith” is truly out-of-the-box behavior for me. Even so. Here I am. I’ve said yes to what’s next, without the security, without knowing what that next is going to be. Scary stuff.
About a year ago, my counselor introduced me to a term, a concept, that I had never heard before: Liminality. Little did I know, this unfamiliar word would end up providing the perfect definition for what my life looks like at this very moment. Allow me to unpack it.
Liminality was first developed, and is most often used, in the science of anthropology (the study of human origins, behavior, and culture) and refers to a state of transition between the major stages in one’s life (see a list of examples below). The word liminality comes from the Latin līmen, meaning “threshold,” combined with the suffixes -al (meaning “pertaining to”) and -ity (used to form abstract nouns that express a state or condition). In a literal sense, a threshold is a doorway. So, liminality is a threshold, or gateway between two stages, an in-between period, typically marked by uncertainty. Bingo.
That’s my life right now. Uncertain. Something I have never ever been comfortable with, pursued or even allowed in my line of sight or presence (if I could help it). But, in deciding to transition from my job of two decades, I have opened a door and crossed a threshold, from what has been familiar, predictable, and comfortable, into a realm of “in-between” and “not-yet.”
“ …liminality is a threshold, or gateway between two stages, an in-between period, typically marked by uncertainty. ”
You might be asking, “Why would you do this?” Because, I know that I know, God told me to. As amazing as the last 21 years have been, it’s time to pursue what is next. Problem is, this pursuit is happening from a state of liminality – that place of “in-between” and “not-yet”, where things are unfamiliar, unpredictable and uncomfortable. As such, I’ve seen that there are some formidable realities that I am having to navigate, tendencies that I could easily fall prey to:
Absence. It’s very easy to find myself constantly thinking about what lies ahead – the need to provide for my family, to “put myself out there”, to be diligent, to “make things happen.” The real estate of my heart, mind and actions can easily be spoken for, disallowing me to be present and able to take in the here and now, special moments with my wife, kids and friends. I am learning to be mindful of the future, but not allow it to rob me of the present.
Angst. Anxiety, apprehension, and insecurity can sneak up. Even with all the experience that I have garnished over the last many years, self doubt and pessimism can often dominate my thoughts. Reading the Bible and taking my cares to God, to allow Him to shape my thinking and calibrate my heart and mind are critical. I have also found that faithful and objective friends are great mirrors, helping to give me an accurate view of what I am capable of, encouraging me to be bold and dream, while providing valuable feedback and wisdom.
Abbreviation. Uncertainty in life could push me to shorten and alleviate my discomfort, jumping at the first thing that comes my way or foolishly indulging in things in my way. Shortcuts might be shortcomings that could sabotage what is worth most. Drawing close to God and trusted others for accountability and soul care is vital. There’s a lot of wisdom that can be found in the “in-between”, if I have eyes to see it, and I am willing to endure and take in valuable lessons along the way.
Apathy. In the absence of a focal point and context for my career and calling, I could easily find myself withdrawing from relationships, responsibilities, and a reason to “get up and get going.” What I do for a living can be a place where I falsely get my identity and motivation. Not knowing what I am going to be doing longer term could produce a low-grade fever, marked by indifference. Taking time to articulate what I can move on each day helps me to take incremental steps to care for what matters now, and what will help propel me towards what could be.
Why is it worth noting the above? I believe that, if I am honest with what can derail me, if I can give it a name, detail the symptoms, I am more likely to catch things early on, to have a plan, a course of action that will help me avoid the landmines on this journey and aid my efforts to, not just endure but, flourish in this “in-between.” I don’t just want to make it to the other side. I want to have learned valuable lessons, to have gained greater wisdom, so that I can grow into a better person and add even greater value to what is next. How about you?
Are you in a liminal state or season? Is your life experiencing some “in-between and not-yet?” How are you walking it out?
Examples of Liminality:
Being “the new kid” for a while when attending a new school, before being fully incorporated into a new group of friends.
Finishing high school but not yet starting the next chapter in life.
Adulting after college, in anticipation of attaining a career.
Getting engaged, looking forward to a wedding date and married life.
Experiencing a divorce, while desiring to be married again, at some point.
Midlife, between adulthood and elderhood.
“…I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10b (NLT)
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” 1 Peter 5:7 (NLT)
“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27 (NLT)
Photo by Peter Herrmann on Unsplash